Thanks cat and all who have posted to me
Its late, i cant sleep so i was happy to log in and see a chat available. Its funny how i have hesitated in chatting and opening up. I think i can solve everything, that i can figure things out. I went on chat, Harry had a way of helping me see triggers after my just on six months clean i relapsed, i thought there was no trigger, but Harry helped me find it. I can see now that it was there as plain as day as the week before i hadnt been able to sleep worrying about the future, things beyond my control. I also received something at just the right moment, i was pretty much in despair, and a little coincedence happened. Well, maybe not a coincidence hey. I was losing hope lately but i have had help from my friends across the seas. I have gone back to counselling, I am going to meetings, i am trying my hardest to put one foot in front of the other. In future i am going to share my concerns with people. I will talk more and not be so closed. I need to do this to help myself. I have to try different things, I have to find a way. I dont want to gamble again. I really want to have a life and i promise myself i never never want to go through what i just have. It has been almost unbearable. Im trying to find positives. Im desperate to help myself and im doing things to make that a reality.
P
