#1342
san250
Participant

Hi Pinkfloyd, There is no way you are a cry baby!! Dealing with an abusive person, in whatever form, is very tiring. My ex husband was an abuser, verbal, physical and mental with narcissistic traits. I don’t want to go into detail here, it’s not the place and by going over it, it drags it all back. I just wanted to say you are not alone and you can turn your life around. To attract a different type of man it is strongly recommended to do some work on yourself. Make yourself aware of what your part in all this is. I was completely ‘lost’ and had no idea how to turn my life around and indeed deal with this unreasonable man! I found this lady https://www.facebook.com/pages/Melanie-Tonia-Evans/137377772251?fref=ts and with her help, nearly three years on, I am with a new man, in a new country with a new life and totally different. It’s my son who is my cg, I believe a by-product of my abusive marriage. I always tell people never to underestimate the effects of abuse. There is a lot of information on the Melanie Tonia Evans website and she explains how to leave an abusive relationship too, it ***** planning and to be aware the abuse may be ‘upped’ when he gets wind that you are going to leave him. Everything does happen for a reason, it’s just at the time we don’t always know why, but that reason will unfold in due course. As you are dealing with an unreasonable man where reason doesn’t work, i would say arm yourself with as much information and tools as you can. I read on here to write down your feelings, great advice, however, when I did this, there was no way I could do this on paper without fear of my ex finding it, so I emailed myself all my inner feelings that were for me only. Unbeknown to me he set up a ‘spy programme’ on my computer and gained access to all my passwords and read all my notes … so be careful. There is another life out there 🙂 and decent men! One day at a time. “You cannot travel back in time to fix your mistakes, but you can learn from them and FORGIVE yourself for not knowing better. — Leon Brown”