This post is a little old, but I hope you read this response.
I got the impression that you see yourself as emotionless or that there is something is wrong with you. I could be wrong in what I read. But what I read is someone one who is taking care of herself and her child. I am not a professional but I do not see a disease or a label that ***** to be applied to you.
From my own experience I feel very numb in some areas of my life. I hope that is only temporary. I think (hope) it is a self-preservation **** that I am in. I am so tired of being taken forgranted and abused that I have shut off my emotions to my husband, with the exception of anger. I have found I am very angry. I hope he loves me but I do not ***** on that anymore. I ***** on myself.
Like you said in your post my husband protects his family (mother, sisters, father) from the effects of this disease but constantly puts me and the kids, mostly me, in the direct line of fire. I do not understand. Probably never will.
I hope you had a happy mother’s day and enjoyed time with your daughter! Try to look to the positive…