Hi Sol,
It was nice to “meet” you in the Community Group this morning.
Having just read your first post I can see that you are an intelligent, articulate, kind and loving husband and father who is obviously in a great deal of pain. While you did not ask for this addiction (who would?!), you are asking for help, and that is such a positive step in the right direction.
In group, you seemed to be asking how to prevent yourself from having access to money, and I think you were struggling with the idea of giving up control of your finances … is that right? (I don’t think I am sharing anything you said in group that you wouldn’t say here on your thread. Just say so if I am and I will delete this post.)
I told you about a few things my CG (husband) and I have done in that regard, and I would be happy to tell you of other deterrents and barriers we have put in place when and if you want to hear about them. All you have to do is ask – here or on my thread, either one!
Just writing that first post I know was extremely difficult for you. But I think Sirena may have hit on something important about your social discomfort. I would imagine that, once you started writing your story the thoughts and words began spilling out and it must have felt somewhat therapeutic when you were done. Did you feel some relief, or something else that made you glad you told your story? If so, imagine that you were able to overcome your discomfort and started going to GA meetings. Is it possible that in time you might also be glad you did?
You have a lot of good reasons to beat this addiction, but of course you must do the work yourself for yourself.
Your wife will also have good reasons to support you properly, without enabling you, in your recovery – but she must first begin to learn about this addiction, just as you are doing, in order to know how to do that. She can come to this site for the knowledge she will need, and she will find Friends and Family (like me) who are affected by compulsive gambling who will listen and understand her concerns.
Neither of you need go thru this alone …
I wish you and your family all the best.
Adele
