#1968
nitenurse
Participant

After my husband’s cruel words I crumbled! I love this man but when he is defending his addiction he’s a totally different person! I was a crying mess and I hate that he saw that cause it’s like the addiction is winning! So, I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and tattered self-esteem, cranked up the radio and made a killer dinner! And I had fun doing so!
When my husband came around he immediately apologized for his behavior, which was nice to hear but part of me wonders if its just another attemp at manipulation on his part?!
This has been our dirty little secret for a long time, but i recently broke down and let my mother in, basically cause i couldnt keep it in anymore! she was initially very judgmental and that’s why i hesitated to tell her! i dont want her to hate him! she cooled off and when she did we had a good talk about what i was feeling and how we could get through this! It felt good to let someone in! I’ve felt so alone!
I just love him soooo much… So what else can I do? Like many people have suggested, I will just keep control of the finances, even though it infuriates him so! I will be there for him and try to be supportive even when I want to strangle him! And I will continue living my life… I guess! I hope that if he sees us happy and living our lives ***** want to join in and we can get back to the happy *****!