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Hi Bettie,
Like I told you the other day, yours was the first member’s story that I read from first post to last. it was an interesting read and when I would read that you went to the "boats," I would silently say to myself "NO!" And ask myself I wonder how that turned out in terms of your recovery. I used to believe that if I slipped, it was all lost, but no longer believe that. I quit gambling after Christmas, 2010, and since then have had 3 slips. I was able to get back on my recovery program right after the gambling episode. I was fortunate that I did not win a dime any of those three times, because it may have been harder to keep on keeping on. The best barrier I ever put up was self-exclusion as that  has made it so much easier to deal with my addiction. Sure lessens the wear and tear in my brain. Never was one to go where I’m not welcome. I would die of humiliation being escorted out of a casino. You have done so well Bettie that you inspire me to do well.