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#18311
bettie
Participant

Hi Guys,
Thanks for posting. I have been a bit busy and have been lax about posting. Maybe I can move beyond the "pity party" and just get on with it.
Carole, I am so proud of you and your break through!
I am drinking my coffee and feeling the love from this site, I need it today.
I had a talk with my brother. He has been through h*ll with his divorce (14? years ago) There are no words to describe how his ex manipulated him. His daughter is 18 now and her mother has been feeding her a load of cr*p about going away to school. She discusses nothing with my brother. Long story short she has this kid set up to go to a school way out of financial reach and tells my brother 1. She hasn’t paid the kids tuition and owes $3000 that had to be paid or she would not be allowed to graduate from high school. 2. That after all financial aid that my niece needs $14 thousand a year for school, and that my brother needs to take a 2nd mortgage on his house. He told her she got his retirement money and she wasn’t getting his house. He did pay her the three grand because she had him over a barrel. My poor brother is so upset! She is making him out to be a bad guy with his daughter and he is sick over it. I told him he needed to have a sit down with my niece and just tell her what is going on. He doesn’t deserve this! What is the personality quirk in my family that lets people walk all over us? I am totally stressed about this and need to let it go. All i can do is be there for my brother, this situation I can not control. They say we can control how we feel or react. I feel awful and I sure can’t control that!
I did go to a session at that GA conference on relapse prevention. I found that speaker to be very good. She had over a year of no gambling however she did not work on recovery. She said it started with skipping meetings. Then she played card games with penny stakes because it was "just pennies". She would have her husband buy lottery tickets when the jackpots got big – after all "he" was gambling  "she" wasn’t. Before she knew it she was back to "go", sucked right back in to where she started, just like she never stopped. The misconception that she could now handle it "once in a while" nearly destroyed her.
Well off to the shower and another day of work. I have to remember I am fortunate to have a job, even one I hate so much.
peace
bettie