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#18319
bettie
Participant

Happy Easter!
So, I was up at 5am and didn’t try to go back to sleep. I want to try to stop taking the xanax to sleep so I can get up earlier so maybe I can get back on my work out schedule. I can not believe how much weight I have been putting on. I took my scale out of the kitchen because so many have advised me to so I thought I would try. Now I am afraid to get on it-clothes are getting beyond snug to unwearable! I’ve stopped checking my blood sugar in the am too. When I get in the denial stage of anything in my life it is dangerous! I will be off to my sisters house-all diabetics out of control over there-and will eat all kinds of junk I don’t keep in the house. No moderation when I get like this, scary!
Laura I think the "laugh" about the GA conference is my "fwb’s" denial that I have a problem, see I haven’t gambled so now I am "cured" and don’t really need that kind of thing-you know- I’m not "one of those people", lol! Well i know better-guess thats all that matters! I know part of my questioning the program is to find fault. See, built in excuses because if I was told that because I am entered in a "raffle" I have no clean time at all I could easily stop going to GA, feel bad, then gamble! I am entered in a giveaway for a national game show, I enrolled in their program YEARS ago so if that is the standard I’m still actively gambling!I am just looking for a justifiable excuse in my CG brain to give myself an out. My I should have been a psychiatrist! There is a church that is giving away stuff for attending church! If I went there would I be gambling?? I could nit pick this question for ever so I need to let it go and move on.
Well I should be doing something productive instead of sitting here but I will check the chat.
have a lovely day!
peace
bettie