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Hey Bettie
Hang in there, keep coming back here, post , read go on group the one on one helpline.  Do all you can to help yourself, self ban if you can? You will not be alone here, you will be so supported, everyone here is in the same boat. i am not gambling, something i didnt think possible a while back.  Ive been where you are, it gets better, it really does!
 P – living and learning