Going to bed, wishing i was dead.
What a sad thought. Idle hands are the devils workshop. I f’*ed up, badly! I went out and gambled. I have no excuse except that maybe i have a death wish. Made it home safely, sick, head hurts. This is what gambling has become for me. A drain on my life, my soul, my being. i am sick and tired of this cr*p! WHAT THE H*LL IS WRONG WITH ME?
All i want is to be happy. I don’t need to be rich. I just need enough to get by.
So what caused this mess??
1. Saw my "friend". He leaves me feeling empty.
2. Upset about the car. It is now a 4yr old money pit. i could have made another repair with the money I wasted.
3. I hate my life. i hate that I have no one special to share it with.
4. I am alone.
5. I feel worthless. I have no purpose in my life.
Bottom line, I caused this mess, me, no one else. I take your advice and throw it in the trash. i must love being misserable.
The only reason I didn’t crash my car was the thought of hurting someone else. This is really sick.
bettie
