Hi Bettie,
Just a short note to say well done. Its hard in the beginning to find solid ground but you can do it. Your right, addiction is hard but I believe that this where all the best lessons are learnt. I believe there is a reason why we have been given this challenge to overcome. Someone once said to me "if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger". You are well on your way to being stronger. For that, I want to say "thank you" for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. We as CGs lived in the dark for so long and when there is someone brave enough to say "I have had enough..I will fight this" is so inspirational to many viewers (including me). I hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone…there are many of us who have thought these thoughts, and there are many who have acted on those thoughts and there are many who have made decisions to do something about it. In my darkest moments, unfortunately (or fortunately?) I see clearly what this addiction can do to me and its not good. I would rather walk in the light than in the dark, so I have chosen to fight the battle again.
Unfortunately its going to get harder before it gets easier so keep strong and stay focused on the "now" and what you are trying to accomplish and hopefully you will see progress for what it is and it will motivate you to continue down this road of recovery. From past experience, the best years of my life were when I was not gambling but getting there again for me is going to be a challenge (am I up to it..YES YES YES). When it comes to your finances , take it slow and be careful with all of the worrying and stress that comes with owing all that money. I found that once I got on the straight and narrow, the people I owed money to came around knowing that I was being honest with them and that I was trying to change. You didn’t create this mess over night and you certainly won’t change it over night. Its the sickeness ,we want it all to go away now. Quick results do not help us ever, we need to take the long road to really feel the benefit of our changes. So sick, but true lol.
I am so grateful for the website and the many members who are fighting the battle with me "one day at a time".
CharmaineChange is not hard…my resistance to change is solid rock and I need a sledge hammer to get through it. (I am working on it lol)
