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#17922
bettie
Participant

Hi Guys,
Thanks for the concern. I try to let Jen take the lead in these matters but her safety is always my #1 concern. So much I would like to say but as soon as I say something derogatory she will be so crazy about him again.
I am depressed today. It started that way and has progressed to a real crying jag. I know I am totally wrong for feeling like I do, but it’s eating at me, waves of tears keep coming at me. One of the sweet gals on the chat mentioned her experiences with a new boyfriend. Truly, I am happy for her, she certainly deserves ANY AND ALL happiness that comes her way. It just jumped into my head what is so wrong with me that I can’t find that? What is so wrong with me? Why am I so unlovable?
It’s been a good holiday season for a change. I haven’t really thought about being single for a while and I have been OK with it. Then wham! Hurt feelings and major urges all morning. This is where banning comes into play. Given the opportunity I would have spent the balance of the Christmas gift money on a slot machine. The thoughts in my head frighten me. You think they are gone but one tiny unimportant thing flings you over the edge and you feel like you’re back to square one.
gonna join the chat. gonna shed this feeling.