Zero – if you read your posts from when you had stopped gambling – you will see how much better things were then. Now when you have gambled again you feel like shit.
But we all gamble again. It is rare that someone comes on here and is gamble free forever afterwards. It takes time and we fall back. The important thing is that we pick ourselves up and keep going.
Idi has made a great suggestion of the residential – and I would urge you to get help local to yourself – you do not say which country you are in but you use Euros so Ireland? There is GA there – get to a meeting or come onto one of the groups here – especially on Mondays and Thursdays when they are facilitated.
Please contact the Samaritans or the local equivalent if you feel like hurting yourself. Know that you are not alone and that many on here have come through this thing. We are all behind you. I wish you well.