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Relapsing after a long abstinence is heart breaking. The fact that your father is ill may have placed a lot of pressure on your recovery. Have you been attending GA meetings and or attending counseling? What were you doing to support your recovery and yourself during that time. Don’t give up. You can do it again. That is the important thing. The heirloom can’t be returned but you didn’t murder anyone. It was an unfortunate effect of the addiction. I hope we hear from you. Laura