As a CG, Michelle, it seems to me that your guy is breaking lots of rules AND getting away with it!
Don’t underestimate how much your child id absorbing throughout all this unhealthy interaction . Although you sound like a very caring mum, she seems to be caught up in the middle a lot of the time . Reading through the eyes of a CG it seems he vanishes when he wants to gamble. Makes a guest appearance when his luck is in. Pays some money (maybe to relieve his guilt) then has a free reign to do an “action replay”and all at the emotional expense of you and your child.
Maybe you should consider setting up legal boundaries? It will make him aware of his rights and duties and may keep him more accountable. On the other hand it might highlight the true nature of his gambling problem and let him see when he is breaching the Law. To be honest , I think he is having an easy time playing you like a fiddle . A dose of Tough Love would not go astray on him. NOT a judgement, Michelle. Just an observation!