One month later and nothing changed. I just came back from the casino, lost 100€, I’ve been buying lotto tickets and scratch cards almost every day.
I still feel my mental health is not in the best shape and I’m too lazy to do something about it… When I’m not at work I’m playing blackjack and roullete with virtual money and on Instagram or Facebook jealous of my “friends” who appear to have a normal life. My performance at work is still not so bad but in January I’ll have more responsabilities and I’ll have to focus and not just think about gambling. Today at the afternoon my colleagues started talking about going to the casino and I couldn’t think about anything else. If this happens in January onwards I won’t certainly be able to meet the standards I’m supposed to.
I’m just lost, I know what I should do (GA meetings, counceling, etc) but for some reason I take the easiest route, which is continue living miserably, depressed, with no money at the end of the month.
I just can’t accept I’ll be an addict for the rest of my life. Why me?
I hope you are all making progress. Regards,
Kolberg