#2922
jamesn
Participant

San, Velvet, Jenny,

My wife picked up my daughter yesterday. When my daughter saw my wife, she was so happy that she jumped into my wife and kissed her non stop. I think it is best that my daughter stays with my wife with the help of my mother-in-law and her aunt because it is the option with the least disruption and changes to my daughter’s daily routine. Of course, I will be missing but it is better than my daughter missing three care takers. I will try to visit her as regularly as possible.

There is one thing I can do, to again trying to help my wife. Hopefully, this won’t bring me back to the deep of codependency, please give me some advice on whether this is OK to do or not:
Two years ago, one day on a hunch, I knew my wife was gambling so I went to the casino and she was there. I talked to the security people and they kicked her out. She didn’t know I did it. She has never gone back to that casino again. Keep in mind that she signed self-banned forms with all of these casinos but they still allow her to play unless a family member asks them to enforce it then they won’t be able to pretend that they didn’t recognize her. I know that they know exactly who are the problem gamblers but turn a blind eye. I have a friend whom I talked to yesterday and he can let me know when my wife leave early for gambling. I wonder if it would helps her if I go to the casinos while she is gambling and ask security to kicked her out until everyone of them has kicked her out once. I don’t know why she didn’t go back to the casino that kicked her out, whether if it was the embrassment or whatever it was, it helped for at least one of the casino that is closest to her. I want to do this for my daughter. Am I trying to do too much here? Please let me know.

San, I live in Southern California. The court here will also tries to do what is best for my daughter.
Velvet, yes, I have a good relationship with my mother-in-law who has been supportive. My father-in-law has been gambling free for over 20 years.
Today I will go to the gym again and go out for a massage. I know I am still in the midst of this codependency problem because I still think about my wife’s problem too much.