Hi,
Sorry to hear about your story. I threatened to leave a million times and I always meant it but when you love someone it’s so hard to actually see it through. Mainly out of fear that they will move on and become better for somebody else. Although we are over and he has already moved on to an ex, which is extremely hurtful and humiliating for me, I would have always have helped him. It’s very obvious only one of us felt love in that relationship. However, I appreciated him being honest and coming to me with the issue rather than me finding out. I think you should sit down with your wife and be honest. Show her that you are making steps to stop gambling and pay off your debts. She will find out anyway sooner or later and it would be much better if you were honest and upfront, that would show to me personally that you recognise an issue and are seeking help. Having to find out by seeing bank statements etc will look like you are hiding it and will make everything appear worse. Good luck.