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SO I woke up with familiar negative thoughts about what I had done. MOnica is upset this morning about the state of her life – she is expressing her regerts to me, many of them because she has had to deal with an addict. We hold so many other people’s lives back. I cannot change the past, but with my actions today I can affect the future. This is a new way of thinking for me. If I have a good day today, tomorrow can be a little but better.

My son is playing with his toys, talking to himself. I have missed the first 1.6 years of his life by being distracted with gamnbling, fighting, being stressed and being stuck in my head. I am not missing any more.

Just for today I will not gamble, and I wish everyone on here a wonderful, productive day.