Yeah catching that thought….in the moment and then really pondering why, what is the root cause? I am married but when my wife and I are emotionally disconnected, I desire gambling. So yeah you hit the nail right on the head for me, Steev. I often consider gambling to be my mistress. For me at this time it is the having been away for it for quite a long time and then memories fade and it pops into my brain and I’m suddenly thinking there is some novelty to it again worth trying out.
I also can completely relate to the “drama and negatively interesting” thing. A distraction. A way to enter a different universe for a while.
And finally the way toward a happier life… filling the void with positive activities that give me the excitement I crave, but in a positive way… for example working on strengthening my relationships. Moving forward instead of looking backward and thinking about what is possible, not looking at everything like it is so impossible for things to change for the better.
Coming up on a month which is great but I need to work on being very in tune and mindful when the thoughts come around, which they inevitably will.
Thank you Steev for your reply, I really appreciate it.