The depression seems a little easier, although I have another health issue that has been on going for a few years now so I need to do something about it, it seems to be getting worse and its silly really as you really don’t need to just put up with pain on a long term basis, especially when you know there is a remedy, I have had a fair bit of surgery and I guess that puts me off, but I am going to sort it out.
Today I received notification from my debt management company that all my creditors have been notified and my plan is up and running with the first payment in a week time, I am just worried about the companies reactions but I can do nothing about that and so I need to quit the worrying quit the constant anxiety using the Stop technique I have been advised by Richard Gt too. It does work but I am getting addicted to the word stop now!
So what will be will be. At least I have faced things, that I hid from for many, many months and all the time I was hiding, the addiction was still very much in charge no matter how much I believed I could control it, because it was telling me that just that one big win and it would all be put right and I was still believing it, well hoping that it was true, of course it was not true and all it did was add to my mountain of debt.
So much pain, despair depression hopelessness for so many years all because I was not prepared to admit total defeat. Not prepared to admit I am powerless over gambling, and the only chance left for me was to Stop then I can win, start to win a life back.
I am oh so grateful for all the help and support I have received to date from GT from the Gordon Moody team and the people on here who are just like me, who understand what it is we go through with this nasty, vile soul destroying addiction.
I have along way to go, but any step forward no matter how small is worth so much more than the life of a compulsive gambler that life to me is, well its an alien life its not a life at all, its a living hell.
Liberty moving forward over and out xxx
