Life is certainly throwing alot of stuff my way … arghhhh… everyone around seems to be ill, including my partner, who has been my rock. We now start the ‘hospital’ rounds with him. I am waiting on biopsy results for myself (although no news is good news here and I’ve heard nothing). And the other rock in my life my father is not so good either.
What has this to do with my cg and his gambling? … when I’m pre-occupied, under par etc etc, I think the addiction homes in on the weakness and vulnerability!! I’m tired and it’s easy to give in to his demands. I can sense I am talking to the addiction with the rage in his voice and words when I question why he wants this money. I am trying to protect my finances and he sees it as controlling him. Hello its MY money! When the confrontation gets bad he throws in ‘all I am thinking about is suicide’. And then I give in :(. When the ‘rocks’ in my life are really really ill and back and forth to the hospital, as am I, my cg’s (addiction’s) selfishness is very hard to swallow.
The ‘controlling’ issue has raised its head alot lately and I wonder if that’s how cg’s see us, as controlling monsters? He says everyone in his life has been ‘controlling’ him for the last 5 years and he just wants to do his own thing. He says when he feels controlled it messes with his head and sends him to gamble. Because other people in my life have said, independently, that I am controlling too, I have really backed off EVERYONE! I have enough going on in my own life to concentrate on.
The group times have changed to times that are hard for me to get to or I am asleep! Maybe just writing this down will help.
Hoping as the forum is quiet everyone is okay and getting on with their own lives. Sending good wishes to all. San x