[lizbeth4]

Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive with negative people around you! I feel like gambling, escaping for a few hours. I know afterwards that I will feel disgusted and ashamed with myself. I am doing everything in my power to not gamble. There are no meetings here. Between my Mom’s negativity today as I took her to the Doctors and store and my oldest Daughter’s rude comments concerning a disagreement, I am upset and hurt. What better way to deal with it than to be distructive by gambling. How crazy is that? My brain is telling me not to be stupid and my addiction is telling me to go for it!! I feel like I can’t win. I’m having a pity party!