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Spent most of the day with my father. Got back to the flat I had drank a few glasses of wine so could not work. Went to bed and woke up around an hour ago. 2.20am. Felt somewhat down about the past. Maybe it was the effects of the booze I dont know. Came online and found a casino I had NOT excluded from. I came close really close to running a deposit. I was there inside the account.


S.T.A.R. ( Stop- Think- Act- Review ) < Thanks Micky Then I found the responsible gambling page for this casino and hit self exclude. My bank balance remains. Talk about taking it to the brink. But I managed to step back. The urge passes. Maybe I will do a few hours work. I cant sleep. Tomorrow will take that walk to the bookmakers in the town and run my self exclude from there. That can be too tempting for me these days even though I have never had for years a major addiction to bookmakers. I hate the places. They depress the hell out of me. But need to be sure! Its a full week now since my last melt down or close to that. I survived without gambling. And will I hope do so for the next week. Beyond that at the moment I can not focus. It is all about survival.