Have I been thinking that I have enough information about addiction and recovery to get my behavior under control before it gets out of hand?
I thought I know enough about my addiction, but I did not know about my blind spots and have not uncover all my reservation to gamble. I did not have an immediate plan to replace gambling with something else when each reservation happened. I was not prepared on what to do when I want to gamble.
I thought I can be more careful this time. I thought I can keep my gambling under control by restricting the type of gamble choosing lower risk, limiting the amount I gamble and no more all or nothing bet.
I thought I could stop and walk away when I lose control, thought I will not be impulsive, compulsive and obsessive anymore.
I thought my saving will be safe from my gambling and I would not withdraw every single cent for gambling.
They never fail to get out of hand every time. The ending has been the same all the time.
