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Still fighting. I had $5000 USD in my bank all weekend and didnt spend anything, previously I would convince myself to gamble, end up losing it all and then all my bills would overdraft the following day. I paid off my car 3 days ago, and I get paid from another job tomorrow, so I have all but $150 scheduled to goto bills.

Even with all the progress I’ve made, I still struggle with the day to day life of a non gambler. I’m not sure how long our brains need to re-wire and not need the dopamine, but I am still looking for some sort of stimulation after being a high stakes sports better everyday for the last 5-10 years.

I just realized today is exactly 3 months clean. I’ve made huge progress paying off debts, probably paid $30,000 USD in those 3 months, money that would have been gambled before. I’m proud of the success, but I am frustrated with how long it takes for things to improve. I want my credit score fixed, I Want my loans paid off so I Can go back to working 1 job and have a normal life.

I guess I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, I did this to myself and it took years to create this damage, its going to take more than 3 months to fix. I’m very fortunate to have the opportunities I have to get myself out of this.