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#31155
steph37
Participant

I haven’t gambled in 10 days,however haven’t had alot of money to gamble with…. i guess that is a small victory because I have been paying bills as soon as I get money so there is that…. I keep reading everyones posts and am finding it so helpful and see myself doing/feeling alot of the same things…
For me the last year was extremely tough… Last summer (2014) I was gambling alot with our rent money and our landlord finally had enough and gave us a few months to find a new place…. We decided to move in with my husband’s parents to save money for a down payment on a house- which was a big mistake… it just gave me more money to gamble with…. In May of this year we found a house and moved out and again I promised my husband I wouldn’t gamble… but continued to do so… some low points for me included spending my entire paycheque the night before two of my kids birthday parties… luckily my parents were able to bail me out… another time I was supposed to pick the kids up from school (11, 8, and 6) and I wouldn’t/ couldn’t stop playing the machine I was on… again my parents bailed me out and were able to pick them up (I think I told them I got caught up at work)….
My kids are aware I gamble… yesterday my daughter wanted to stop for a drink after dance and I told her I had no money because dad had to keep it so I don’t gamble… she laughed and said “i like how your so honest about it”… which is what I am trying to do now… be honest, and not make up lies about where money was spent or why I need money….
It is hard to know I can’t be trusted with money… every morning my husband gives me some for coffee etc… but it is also relieving to know that I don’t have the choice to gamble….