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I have spent virtually all of today and last night alone, which is Ok. I have read through posts when I started on the gma forum and appreciate the support I had early on from Vera, idi, jonny and laura. I can see the journey and I can appreciate the gifts of recovery. One of the Potters Touch programmes I watch on tbn described it clearly. The pain and heartache in my soul had to go, had to be released in order to establish a clearer connection to God. It was in the way, and it was. We can be reborn in Christ at any point. I had missed what was right in front of my nose all the time. Our Heavenly Father and his son, Jesus is our guide, moral compass and mentor in this lifetime. If we are gifted with others in this lifetime, great, but if not then we turn to Christ. If I sound like I had some religious road to Damascus moment, well in a way, I have and it took this addiction and recovery to show me that. I pray that all who have a gambling addiction and the pain it covers can come to recovery and find a new life, no matter how old, it can happen.