I’m new to this board and want to thank everyone for their honesty and willingness to share. My problem like most grew from what I thought was an innocent 5 dollar bet to playing 250 dollar blackjack hands. As my winnings grew so did my greed. And what goes up must come down – so, as everyone here knows I started to chase. I watched over 11k fade away in a matter of hours. I started to throw good money after bad and finally stopped at my break even point. I know, I’m lucky to have only lose my winnings and not go negative into the hole. I was devastated and for the past week I tried to turn back time and played the “what if game” – I’m scared and shocked on how quick the evil of gambling took over my mind. I opened up to my wife and told her about the last few months of lies and decent – I feel this is a positive step and she is now going to hold me accountable. I know it’s hard to remove the thoughts and fight the urges but no matter when you decide to fight this evil enemy you can’t look back. What is gone is gone. Yes, we all make mistakes – it is human nature but I encourage you to stop blaming yourself over and over as all that will do is lower your self-esteem and drag you further into regret. You CAN’T move forward looking back. There are programs and organizations that can help you refocus and start over – again it’s never TOO late to be the person you WANT to be!
