I was having urges this morning…thinking that I could just gamble a little to try and recoup my losses. Thankfully I had installed ganban which meant I can’t access gambling online. The urges have passed now. I spent some time in group chat which also helped. I’ve now bought a subscription to ganban because I think I would have been tempted once the free trial period ran out.
I think I will do some reading about addictions today. It really is so tempting to think it’s simple – just stop. But it is hard work, the addiction is devious and turns my mind against me. I think cutting off the ability to gamble is key because otherwise it’s too easy to get sucked back in.
I am going to my first GA meeting tonight. It is a big step for me, I hope it goes well and isn’t too scary.