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Thank P and Mark.
MArk I am so glad you understood what I was saying- I have said for years one size doesn’t fit all and sometimes if we are in recovery a while we can forget what the struggle is really like. Sometimes we may even perhaps become a little superior- we should all remember that whether we are gamble free twenty years or twenty seconds we are all the same distance away from our next bet (I get it at last Charles !)

So I guess the whole challenge is keeping that next bet from happening .
When you break it down like that it doesn’t seem such a big deal .
Today I am going to do what I should have done years ago – source a new phone . A basic “old lady” phone (haha). It’s true pride comes before a fall- I do kinda feel a bit proud of my phone – u will understand I haven’t had much decent stuff in recent years and the phone I could pay off monthly . I understand at last that there is no place for pride in recovery .
Whether it is pride at doing better than others , pride at acquiring stuff or pride that stops us seeking the help we need . I guess I suffer from pride in all the forms I mentioned.

It occurs to me that when we are in recovery we should be working On our character faults . I see little discussion on GT of our own character faults – maybe we have become so good at dishing out advice we forget the person who needs to be worked on most –MYSELF.

There’s my tuppence worth for this morning – I would love to say I feel great but I feel shame and guilt still- however I recognise that this also is a form of self indulgence – a kind of viictim “poor me ” mentality . This leads to dependent relationships and is best to avoid.
I cannot change the past – I can only change today