thank You Vera for the birthday wishes and the kind words. I am a little bit down on myself as I relapsed on my birthday and got into alcohol again trying to escape my problems of losing my ex again for the 2nd time From my own wrongdoing. I ended up fighting with her while intoxicated through text and phone and said some pretty mean and hurtful stuff, that I regret a lot. Usually I would gamble after something like this happens, but I knew relapsing on substances was bad enough for me and I couldn’t gamble or honestly I would have one more thing to dmaage my mental health. I have had counselling this week and another session tomorrow, I need to find out why I turn to booze and substances when I try to deal with stress and life’s problems, which actually make things 100x worse in the end. The irony is the words of advice you gave me that my addictions overpowered, I went searching for fulfillment and temporary happiness in booze and actually make me more sad, anxuous, depressed .. but its a new day and I can learn from this. Still gamble free, yet still feel like I messed up badly. Life
I hope I figure it out one day.