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Dzay De

It has been 11 days since I posted this and I still havent made any progress but I have been thinking of some type of solution but it comes with a great price. I will tell my mother everything that has happened and I will find a job just to pay her back if she can find someone who can lend her the money. The thing is, Im going to quit school in order to work (call center) and stay a little bit away from my friends in order to focus and to ease their minds since they also are affected by the negative aura surrounding me, they also try to hide me and lie to the people who I owe money to. That will be my ultimate price. Im a total extrovert and I feed my happiness by being with my friends and with other strangers since I will always be a chameleon where I can fit and befriend any stranger in the area. That is the thing that is holding me back, that I cant go to where I want to go but I think I need to let that go in order to move forward with what I have planned.

Im gonna tell my mother this evening after I post this reply. And one more thing SUICIDE WAS NEVER AN OPTION for me but it only crossed my mind, the greatest fear I have is death and suicide would probably never happen to me, but anyway thank you very much. I will update this soon after I make some progress.