Thank you.
That’s an interesting thought, I’ve always understood that he has to reach rock bottom to start the climb back up, but I’ve not applied the same principle to my wife and I.
In that context, my wife reached it some time ago. I’m there now. I don’t want to just “give in” and go back to same old same old. Something, my son, has to change.
I’ve told him that HE has to set the criteria, he has to make the commitment to himself as well as us before we can move forwards. If we set it, then we are just controlling his life he says. OK, you control it. You do it. You set the standards. We will then make OUR choice if that’s a strong enough resolution to start to repair the relationship. He wants to know the outcome BEFORE he makes the commitment – so he can judge in his mind whether or not its worth making the effort.
Change is being forced upon him in his life now, he has to find a new job in the next few months, so he wont have any choice in that matter, he’s got to make an effort in expectation of a good outcome, without the guarantee of it happening.