#2998
kb
Participant

Thank you both for your replies. Harry it is great to hear from a CG. That is the perceptive I need to understand so that I will know better in the future. Velvet thank you for the advice on taking care of myself. You are right that I have allowed this addiction to overwhelm my thoughts and actions. I have been a very angry and defeated person for the past several months and IM TIRED. I will definitely take your advice. There is NO reason this addiction has to engulf my life the way I have allowed it. I finally spoke to my husband about our recent fight and he admitted to me he was angry because he felt that enough time had past that I should trust him again. He also felt that I was “punishing” him for his past behavior by not allowing him to have the bank card. I explained to him that his past has been forgiven and I was in no way punishing him. I also explained that due to the cycle of broken trust – regained trust – broken trust again, my trust is at an all time low. I asked him to think about it as something I am going through and not a direct attack against him. There will be days when I do trust and days I do not. I asked for his help on the days that I do not. That if he would just be patient and not explode in anger it will help the trust to be renewed. I explained that when he responds with anger it only makes me want to trust him less. I am trying to keep the “beast” in the corner and not in between us. I understand that this is not going to be the last fight, but I hope the next time I will be better equipped to handle it. I have also decided that it is probably best for me to always have some (not a lot just what ever we can afford) cash available so he can have access to some money just not ALL money. I dont know if that is considered enabling him, but I do not see him stopping anytime soon and honestly I cannot live in an angry home. As long as the gambling can stay under my supervision, meaning only money we can afford to lose is gambled, then I will be at peace.