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Thank you ell, velvet and monique for your kind words and wisdom. I am glad to see that others who were like me but are able to overcome the problems that I am facing. I cared too much and tried to fix things which I finally understood that I have no power over after 10 years. I have no regret coming back to my wife 4 years ago even though my family warned me that I should move on. I love my wife and thought that I could help her free from this evil. I thought I would never walk away from her if she had cancer and gambling seems to be more treatable at least from my own logic. It turned out to be more daunting than I ever thought it would be. I don’t know if I still love my wife any more because sometimes she is like a total stranger to me and none of what she says make sense. My beautiful daughter is the love of my life right now. I don’t know what is the best for her yet. I am trying mediation and guided relaxation so I can overcome my anxiety and it seems to help me clear my mind.

My wife used to like to go out with me for dinner and movies or go hiking. She refused to to try them now. She has some friends but her relationships to them seems superficial. She never share with them her problems. She talks tough but is really fragile inside. I urged her to see a psychiatrist but she refuses. She attended GA for two months but then told me that seeing these people with gambling problems make her depress.

Thank you for reading,