Thank you everyone I have calmed down. I had a small amount left and decided to go in again. I have worked on these mathematical systems for yrs off and on, they work over time and today they worked also for a time but just as soon as i have one or two losing system bets I fail to even stick it out for a day I cannot wait and that is my problem ,it is all our problem. Compulsiveness . I cannot go residential , it is just not possible, many reasons why not but no insurance so that’s the main one. Cannot pay obviously. Now at least I cannot bet as I am broke and in a way it feels good at least I can try to start new things..again.
A thought entered my head today I remember when I went to GA for a few session yrs ago that one person told a story about his own position. He had lost everything wife family house job the lot. What was really different about him though is that he freely admitted that he was ” in the know ” so to speak. Basically he had stable information, he came from a racing family, he made it clear that yes some racing is fixed (not nearly as many races as we all may think but still some) and when it is on its on.
He had made huge money at times , however he could never just stick to this information, he had to keep betting after the almost guaranteed winnings from the family he was part of. This person had every advantage, all he needed to do was bet on the races that were set up but yet he could not, he could not wait .
He said that If God himself came down and told him exactly how to do it, if God himself told him only bet on this or that but nothing else then he would still lose everything because he cannot control the urge to keep betting long after the money has been won. That is me too. It does not matter . I will lose , if I had the winning lotto numbers and kept betting I will lose. It is impossible to win when you are the way I am. I would do well to keep this in the front of my mind. Steev, Vera, I did it, and Paul GT . Thank you for your very helpful advice. Time to pick myself up…yet again.