#3665
grandvee
Participant

Thank you for the reply velvet. Would it be rash for me to all of a sudden tell her I want to split all of our house bills between the two of us? I know she had to hit rock bottom before she can even begin to see the damage her addiction has caused but at the same time it still would affect me. If she hits rock bottom, then she can’t pay her bills, her portion of the mortgage will either go unpaid or I will have to pay it for her since I live there or else my dad will have a fit if it goes unpaid since his name is on the account and would affect his credit (he doesn’t live there). Either that or the house will be lost, her debt will remain, we will end up without a home. I read somewhere on these forums about being the “surrogate” spouse and that’s exactly what it feels like. My dad and she separated but it seems like I’m picking up where he left off.
I agree that I shouldn’t give her any money because that just enables her. But at the same time she can’t pay certain things because she has racked up so much debt. She hasn’t even finished paying off her 10 year old car due to refinancing. I called the casino and apparently they have a “self-ban” that she can do but she has to go the casino to actually do it (and at each casino). Is there any hope?