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Thank you for your reply.

I used to be a member of this board, I forgot my username. It helped me tremendously. I used to read and write and relapse and read and write and relapse. I repeated the cycle all the time or rather as many times as I needed to until it finally hit me: “If you’re always going to do what you’ve always done, you’re always going to get what you always got”. And I did it, I don’t even know how. Scratching the CVC numbers off my cards really helped, as I couldn’t give them away and needed them to survive the first few months (I recommend this to anyone in a similar situation). As I moved away from gambling, I moved away from this forum as well. Funny thing is, the last thing I remember before my relapse and binge is looking at gambling billboards (they are all over town now)and thinking how they’re not affecting me at all. But, now I’m here.