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Thank you Monica and King -I will listen to those beats tonight.
So I have reached day 5 – a bit disappointed I have missed GA this week as I was unwell- it is going really well- the urges have subsided and I feel so hopeful and determined .
I am using a lot of online support . I am writing here often and I am not allowing anyone to burst my bubble .
I once read the Celestine prophesy and it changed the way I allow people to treat me . It describes control dramas and I realised that I was often the “interrogator” with my son- asking questions which I thought were meant to lead him to a place of understanding or enlightenment . Of course I now understand it just was a way of putting him down and deflating him. I was acting superior but because I phrased it in a question I felt it was less threatening – in face it was worse because it put him on the spot .
In my own life I dodge such interrogations now – it is a way of putting me down, deflating me , adding a yes you are doing well… BUT

I would encourage you everyone to Google the control dramas – there is the poor me , the interrogator, the aloof and the intimidator – I am sure we have all been on the receiving end of one or other and most of us have been one of other from time to time.

Once you see the drama at play it had little power over you .
Writing is definitely helping me right now – sorry if I ramble but after all it is my thread !