Thank u again for ur lovely words. I’m afraid I am struggling again today! I had a good day Sunday my daughter took us all out for lunch, and paid. I visited my friend in evening and we helped her daughter pack her kids presents. I had a couple of drinks, not many, and we shared a take away.
For a few hours I felt better and not engulfed with sadness.
Yesterday morning I was getting ready to go shopping when my dad rang me. He hasn’t spoken to me since April over stuff my eldest daughter told him that was a gross exaggeration of the truth, something she now admits to. He said as long as I was with my CG he didn’t want to know me. I rang him Father’s Day and he put the phone down on me. I wrote him a long letter which received no answer. I have had to work hard with my counsellor as the rejection was hard to take.
Eventually I resigned myself to the fact that I’d probably never see him again as he’s 78.
He rang yesterday and obviously I was glad, he said he realised life is too short and he’d not interfere in my life. Ironic as my CG no longer wants to be in mine. I wasn’t prepared for the emotional floodgate it would open. I had my say, nicely and told him a few home truths but we ended the conversation with a truce. I’m sure we will see each other soon, but not just yet my feelings are too raw just now.
I feel in back to square one. I cried on and off all day yesterday and I’m really struggling today.
I know it WILL pass but at the minute I feel overwhelmed.
I have such nice memories of Xmas day last year when my CG cooked for me and the kids. It was a quiet simple day but full of love and hope .
Really hope I can get back to where I was Sunday for my youngest s sake most if all.