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For your lovely post, it is great to see you back posting again, I missed seeing your posts last week. I am not sure about any talent, but it was very kind of you to make that comment.
I agree about the animals being like your children, they certainly are a great comfort in sad times as well as a joy, my dog was a bit of a rascal I wrote her a letter when she had to be set free here it is
Dearest ****, I call you, I look for you but you do not appear, you were my comforter during the bad times and there’s been a few, you loved Us unconditionally, as a youngster you were quite a rascal pinching the girls things never breaking them but we often wondered why you needed an iPod a phone on your bed, but it was because you knew you deserved it too, found your presents at Christmas time in the pile and how many times were they re wrapped for you? Then the years took-their toll, but no matter you were still there by my side outside the bathroom door waiting for me’ no matter how you could not walk anymore, you were so tired, in so much pain I so hope you are free now because dearest **** we love and miss you so, thank you **** for all you freely gave, our beautiful brave girl xxxxxxx rip memories of you will never fade am told the pain will lessen this is my sacrifice my debt to you girl to set you free xxxx love you **** everyone who knew you loved you xxxx

So here I am just over a year since, yes I guess time does heal it’s not raw like it was, but it certainly is still with me the missing,
Missing you dog. Perhaps for me, loving my dog as I did and still do was easy, yes I guess I rather take the easy route, is that human nature? Easy, no expectations, no demands made of me, no judgement, never hurt me, would never have hurt me. So with an animal, like my dog what safety there is.
Anyhow, I think you get the gist anyone reading this that I adored my dog 🙂 change of subject now ha ha
I have a few worries, new worries last couple of days things I need to sort out, things I need to face and deal with as if I do not time continues to flow forward as always, and enough procrastination this year so far. Yes, I have dealt with some things but I have not done enough to move myself forward, the easy way am sorry to have to tell myself does not work, stopping gambling is great but that in itself does not make for a life.
I need to find a new job since mine will end in two months time, what am I going to do, I will do and am willing to do anything to gain an income (within reason) it has to be legal and has to be moral!
I am worried about finding work, like on the one hand I know that I am at work, diligent, loyal and hard working and I am not stupid, well not totally maybe a little lol
But what to do, then the doubts start creeping in, are you capable of doing anything? will anyone really want you? Aren’t you too old? well not really I still have most of my faculties (well as much as I ever had!) Plus I have a fair few years until retirement so that really is not an option, it’s just the lack of confidence voice, one part knows I am more than capable of doing anything I set my mind to but another always seem to want to dis me as useless and unworthy of a ‘normal’ life.
I seem to spend so much of my time dealing with this voice, the one that wants me to run away, live on an uninhabited island and live off coconuts! The escape artist, or maybe it’s the would be gambler, but one thing I am learning there really is no escape from me, cos wherever I am, I am still facing me, looks like I am stuck with me in this life time, so need to start making the best of me and being the very best I can be and accepting that I am a product of my experiences and yes, our experiences of life do shape who we are today but that is not to say that we can not change any of it. We can be masters of our own destinies, I am learning to shape mine, its kind of a strange shape right now though…..still at least the clay is not set, nothing is set in stone.