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Thank you so much everyone, I haven’t been on here because to be honest I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to think any more. I’m so tired. My heart is breaking and I don’t know really how to deal with any thing that is going on.
My Christmas was horrible. I spent all day at “our” house alone. Eventually the pain got the best of me and I took a couple of pills to sleep the day away. I will be moving next weekend, I can’t even think about that right now. The pain is unbearable. To think I could be losing everything I hold dear is an uncontrollable pain. I know that he loves me and I love him so much I just hope he decides in the end that it is enough. Right now I know how much pressure he is under and how stressful all of this is. I know how my addiction has affected him and those around him. And I pray every day that they will all find it in them to forgive me. I know I still have so much to offer and this experience has taught me so much. I’m just not ready to give up on this relationship.