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Thank you the one

I am just holding on to that little bit of hope to find my way through. It is hard. I have assessed the damage fully now and I am heartbroken. Never did i believe this is how my life would be. I wish i could start over. To be young and to start again and never gamble. This has taught me to not take the days for granted. Thats what i am realising. Ive lost years and years.
They are gone. Decades gone. I am left with the wreckage.
I did it. How absurd. One day i hope there is more discovered about addiction. I think its only been scratched at the surface. One day i think they will look back and say people used to do these things to themselves!!!
Imagine if the world was banned of gambling, alcohol, drugs a world without these, wow, wonder if in the future that will happen? I have to get out of the dream world though and look at the here and now.
So this is the life I’ve created. Now to deal with it. One baby step at a time. I think I’m just scraping through. Im crawling through my days. Hopefully one day i can walk in recovery.
I feel so alone.