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Thank you twilight . What a beautiful reply. I was a touched I couldn’t think how to reply.. I guess that goes back to my worrying about being judged as “bad”.

Micky I am reading your reply and really pleased u ate suppirtiny point of view ..
And then from nowhere it came Into my head that maybe those who are honest have more success at stopping.. Maybe they are shamed into it ..
I rem give years ago ( or possibly more ) I wrote in my opening thread thus I knew what I was going to do . I outlined a series of preventative measures I was going to take so I could not gamble.. One of the staff came on and wrote these were called barriers .

Five years later I have dropped my barriers ..I am loathe to set them high again.
On payday – Friday that is what in going to do .. I am going to buy every blocker and put everything in place I need to ..
I am leaving no avenue left to gamble..

We don’t need to be honest with others about out gambling.
We need I be honest with ourselves .
When I gamble I have no control…NONE… I am in danger of ending up homeless and alone for maybe a half am hour online fun!!

So I am taking control of this .
I am never again leaving myself exposed to a situation I can’t control!!!
I am taking control..

U know I do think I could still do my twice monthly thing at the bingo.. Slots are my poison.. I always bring a set amount with me..
However online I am out of control….that is where I need to set the highest barriers possible !!

I am taking control!!

I rem when I stopped for a really long time before.. Two things helped..

They used to have that nightly lotto thing so the promise of that small fix every evening seemed to keep the huge crazy urges at bay.
I had a really good gambling blocker on my Internet devices ..

How did I relapse? ..After computer repairs when my blocker was removed !!

So it’s something. I have to plan for … But there u go ..

I know the advice is to abstain altogether but this sends me into frenzies urges ..
Keeping trying !!