Gambling Therapy logo

Well, the darkness felt like it was surroundinb me and  going to get more and more dark, and now I’m starting to see glimmers of light. 
Small glimmers of hope. I don’t cry everyday anymore, yay! 

I found a new attorney that is much cheaper, and seems to pay a lot more attention. I still have to deal with my husband legally being allowed to live in the same house even though he can afford to live somewhere else, or with family. 
He is as manipulative as ever. He forced  me into bankruptcy. I will have to file, but I can’t afford the attorney for that right now. He went against the judges orders of “keeping the status quo” and continuing to  pay all of the bills. I don’t know how he gets away with all of it. But there is nothing I can do. 
my children know about the divorce, and they seem fine with it. I felt like it was a relief  to them. It helped my heart that they acted like it wasn’t a bad thing, but of course my soon to be ex, tries to terrify them about it and blame me for it continuously. I am thankful for my friends being strong for me, and for my family helping me with what they could. 
my attorney wants me to go to free domestic violence counseling (even though I don’t have physical abuse, I have suffered great mental, financial, and emotional abuse.) I never realized there was any real help for me at all. 
So I guess it’s a blessing that the old attorney quit. 
I have been turning a corner recently. Even though there is a global pandemic, I have started talking to an old friend from college years. He makes me laugh so much. I can’t even remember laughing like that in years. We haven’t seen each other in person, just talked On the phone. Who knows what can happen with that, but it’s just nice to have a new friend,  if anything. He said when the pandemic hopefull’y eases more that we can go to dinner. He was a really kind person that I met my freshman year of college and we have enjoyed talking about just life and where we have been since then. 
Hopefully my case will progress soon and I can say I’m finally divorced and financially starting over. I had another job interview this week, and hopefully I will get this one and start June 1. So far my family has been safe from the pandemic. I hope it stays that way!! I hope all of you are safe as well. 
I am Sorry I haven’t posted in a while. I was in a really bad place and I just didn’t have anything good or positive to say.
I don’t know  exactly what has brought me through this darkness. I think partly this group, new friends, my sweet neighbors and girlfriend, my family, and my hope that I can have a life after this. I’ve finally accepted that I will have to start over 100% financially. That was really devastating for me. But I’m alive and I’m healthy and I am starting to believe I can get through it. Thank you for checking on me!! It means the world!! Stay safe in the pandemic!! All the best, Momo