#2995
kb
Participant

Thank You Velvet and Madge! It is nice to have someone to talk to about this. I do not go to family and friends with this as I feel it would only cause unwanted division and problems amongst those who are not living in this situation. So until now I have had to bear this alone. Thank You. I like the analogy of the beast in the corner. Also, Velvet, thank you for the realization that my words become distorted cause that makes perfect sense in the situation I am currently in. I thought I was being very clear, compassionate, and understanding as well as accommodating when he asked for the bank card and I said no. I expressed my worries and reminded him that this was a joint decision for me to hold control over money. He wouldn’t hear any of it. He became very angry and irrational. I just didn’t understand why. We have always been able to have conversations about this with no problems but this time I was telling him no. So of course once he reacted this way my mind went straight to gambling. He was angry because his intentions were to gamble. And with that thought there was no way I was giving him access to our money. I guess my question now is, once I am “talking” to the beast what do I say or do to not start a fight or to fix the fight? If my words are being distorted is there anything I can say? I mean seriously it has been 2 days now and the husband is still angry and not talking to me (how he handles conflict).