Thank you Velvet just having a reply is great .. the story …
The suposed perfect relationship of six years 3 married … Iknew he had a gambling problem when I first met him … minor gambling ie weekly lotto, when we went to local pub on pokies. Then ‘wheels would fall off’ as he put it and he would empty his bank acc. Always paid bills first but anything left … gone.Never any fighting or violence in our relationship always working together, surportive very loving and close. Helping each other be safe enough and strong enough to work through any issues. Admitted to me he was ‘hopeless’ with money’ eventually admitting to me apenly he had a problem with his gambling. Aparently had drug addiction in his early life that he sort treatment for. Dec 2013/14 we ended up taking on a young guy (son of a very dear friend) who had got himself in trouble with the law and was on home detention. I didnt have a choice I do not lay blame for that. I do not deal with third party living with us … cg was mentoring, supporting etc giving kid what cg never got. I understood I felt left out, alone etc communication break down …. up to this point no major gambling probs … I dont think cg could understand where I was coming from … felt I pushing him away etc … started gambling, sneaking around, like a spiral … lost money saved for trip to my sons wedding, then part time wages all in about 2 weeks … I not scream hit roof … talk … I feel you need to do some thing constructive about this prob… he rang I heard him I was so proud …’I have a gambling prob and I need help’ … cg went to appmnt few days later .. all good apparently 4 days later ended up gambling again came home I calm, non judgemental … cg suddenly so angry, yelling … I said stop you need to ‘go’ calm down sober up … it was like his brain stopped at the word go , relationship over and he literly ran from house. Hid for 3 months to broke to gamble punishing self. At one point early on screamed at me that councilor had said he was not a prob gambler and I had a fixation. Managed to regain contact cg moving toward me emotionally. Oct I was getting support Gamb Anon I spoke to him about that and gave him number. Gambling counciler tryed to contact him he hit roof at her on ph and has cut off contact with me since … sori long winded … so here I am