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Thank you Vera and Steev,
Yes Vera , I had reached the point where I knew I would never stop and this would be my life forever. THis called for drastic action- I did the bravest thing of my life – I went for residential treatment – me who is afraid to stay in a hotel alone! It has changed my life.

Steev your motivation to learn and see new things is amazing. I am more of a binge on Netflix type – I seem to have lost my motivation for everything else.

Today I start my ninth month gamble free – it’s a good feeling.
Today I am going to get moving and start to work on “my” space – it is a home office/ relaxing space . It is newly painted – a white box – I’m excited now – when I do my essential shopping today I mite pick up a few cushions and things for it. Little steps. Progress not perfection !