I had the pleasure of reading your journal, and I thank you for letting out your struggles. You said a lot of things that are similar in my gambling life. I, too, would place bets while I cooked, cleaned, and spent time with family and they had no clue as to my addiction. It does make me feel ashamed, which isn’t a bad thing because that can be used as motivation to get through the tough days.
Connor made a lot of good points. Especially with the “ we all need the big loss” in order to quit. I couldn’t agree more because we will never quit on a win. Plus most of us need to hit rock bottom in order to quit anyway. As crazy as it sounds but i felt incredibly relieved the other day when I lost my final sports bet. I felt like I was free to be myself and worry free of the next fix. I also felt relieved that I could finally be honest and upfront with my fiancé. I no longer have to hide anything from her.
I will stop rambling but I do also agree writing down our thoughts will definitely help in our recovery! I plan on coming here daily to let my thoughts out. Plus I have my own personal journal to jot down my thoughts when needed. Anything to not place that wager.
Stay strong and stay close to this site.
One day at a time!
Sincerest regards
